Look.

I don’t care about Rugby.

For me, catching, kicking and running with a ball is the kind of skill set we all collectively had when we were still primitive Homo sapiens sitting around a cave fire.

By the way, I don’t give a shit about Womens sport either, I barely tolerate the fixation on male sport, I care even less about Womens bloody sport!

Again, I appreciate the physical skills required, the focus, the determination, the collective joy of cheering your team on – blah blah blah, but let’s remember, there are far greater aspects of the human experience than competitively running, jumping, kicking, throwing and catching.

My héros are not bloody sport people, they are artists, philosophers, scientists, but after living amongst you NZers for so long, I appreciate you are all a bit Rugby mad, and I will watch a game when it’s the Rugby World Cup and I try not to be too damning about your weird fixation on fucking rugby.

B-U-T our collective deal with you Rugby freaks is that it doesn’t interfere with real news and real issues that require our focus, which brings me to the current wall to wall coverage of the All Blacks losing a series against the Irish and the universal scream to sack Ian Foster.

Now.

I’d kindly like to remind all you Rugby heads that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! YOUR SHITTY FUCKING GAME SHOULD NEVER, NEVER, NEVER TAKE UP ONE FUCKING SECOND OF THE FUCKING NEWS!

If All Black supporters are this emotional over a rugby match, wait until they hear about climate change & the inflationary Armageddon we face in an ongoing pandemic that is about to sink the global economy as War, Famine, Plague & Death stalk the horizon.

But sure, let’s endlessly bitch about sacking Ian Foster.

Look, sack everyone, I don’t give a shit, the fact this is still a story is bewildering to me!

Rugby stopped being a game a long time ago, it’s a business and fans can scream as much as they like about their disappointment because they are consumers of this business and like any business it needs to deliver to its clients.

Rugby wants to regain its cultural importance to Kiwis? Make all big test matches free on TVNZ, provide more money directly via the state into club level infrastructure and do more on concussions and head injuries so parents don’t push their kids into soccer.

Sigh – I offered advice on Rugby on a. political, see how much I genuinely care about you and your Rugby fetish?

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